On Monday I found myself in the pediatricians office with my son as a result of complaints of a headache, ear pain, and neck and back pain (?!). I could tell the pediatrician was worried about his complaint of back pain. What almost 6 year old complains of back pain?! As she was asking my son questions about his back pain, she then turned to me and asked "does anyone in the household suffer from back pain?". I laughed and replied with, "well, yeah...(as I sheepishly laughed). Then I realized what she was really wondering - is it possible that my son was just mimicking what he might hear from my husband or I.
As a physical therapist and a fairly level-headed, scientific based parent, I make it a point to not complain about pain, or "feeling fat", or anything else that could be negatively imitated by my children around my children. Children are sponges, and as much they absorb the good and the positive, they also absorb the bad and the negative. As someone who sees an average of 45 people a week complaining of pain, I know what it can do to your brain and quality of life. Those little brains shouldn't be carrying the burden of pain at such a young age.
I can count on one hand the number of times I've taken BOTH of my children to the doctor because of illness. I'm a let it ride kind of parent (you don't have to be!). But now that I've ruled out the possibility that my son was imitating my complaints of back pain, I can take him seriously and get him the care he needs. Back pain in kids is pretty rare, and unfortunately for me I know enough to be dangerous to myself and worry about things like meningitis, scoliosis, stress fractures and worse. It was the flu. He had influenza A. But this mama now is resting easy knowing I took the best course of action! (Something I often wonder if I am doing 🤣)
Children are listening even when you think they're not. (Creepy) Adult conversations can be upsetting and confusing for children. As parents, let's try to minimize emotional responses in our kiddos by limiting these topics around them:
Fraught topics. Money, family problems, etc. Don't completely avoid sharing important information with your kids, but make it age appropriate so they can fully understand what they need to.
Trash talk. (Except in the form of trash talking the Packers 🏈) Bad mouthing others just sets a bad example.
Complaining. The whole basis of this post. Try to minimize complaining about things around the kiddos- work, friends, pain, chores, etc. Kids deserve a fair shot at forming their own opinions about being an adult when their time comes.
Criticizing your kids around your kids. Just remember what it felt like when you were in middle school and you overheard what you thought were your friends talking shit about you. Kids can develop self-esteem issues at an early age.
Kids deserve their innocence for as long as possible. And if you're having trouble regulating yourself and your own emotions around your kiddos, just remember ...
You can't fill from an empty cup!
And maybe save them from the disappointment of being a Vikings fan 🤷♀️
