Here it is. May again. This one is for the parents. Mental Health Awareness month. While some of us may not have a tangible diagnosis of a mental health condition, it's important to realize that many of us have moments where our mental health is crumbling. According to NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), one in five U.S adults experience mental illness each year. That's a documented illness. What about my mom friends who experience mental health deterioration on a daily basis? Just because you don't have a therapist or a documented mental illness, doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid and don't require attention.
How many of you have ever said "I don't have time" when talking about doing something for yourself? My guess is most of you. My patients say it all of the time. My husband says it all of the time. My friends say it all of the time. What I really think the narrative is, though, is "I didn't make it a priority." I didn't exercise today because I didn't make it a priority. I didn't call and make that date night reservation today because I didn't make it a priority. I didn't eat lunch today because I didn't make it a priority.
What I bet you did make a priority today was your children, and/or maybe even your spouse. I drove my kid to soccer practice, I called and made a doctor appointment for my kid, I put money in my kid's lunch account. You did all of these things because your child is dependent on you, and is always made a priority. You know who else is dependent on you? YOU! Who is actually going to do all of those things for your children if you're not healthy enough to do them?
NAMI describes a mental illness as a condition that affects a person's thinking, feeling, behavior, or mood. Signs and symptoms of mental illness can vary greatly, but people can often experience less severe mental health stress, which left untreated can become more severe. Behavior signs of mental health stress can include:
loss of interest in things you used to enjoy
wanting to withdrawal from people and activities
poor concentration
confusion
forgetfulness
trouble making decisions
relationship problems
feeling anxious or irritable
change in personality
negative thinking
increased smoking/drinking
NAMI lists therapy, medication, and self-care as treatment options for your mental health. Did you read that last one? Self-care! (Did you just mumble, "I don't have time"?!) I truly believe one step we can take toward improving our self-care is just changing the narrative. When we think we don't have time for something, we can feel like we don't have control of the situation. Don't we all like to be in control of our own lives? If, instead, we thought, 'I didn't make it a priority', at least we are still in control of the decision! One of the most powerful driving forces of our emotions is the ability to feel in control of our own decisions and our lives.
I get it. It can be challenging to make time for ourselves as parents. Our kids are watching. They might not understand it yet, but they are watching us neglect ourselves. Self-care can be an easy first step toward caring for YOU! Engaging in self-care has been clinically proven to reduce anxiety and depression, reduce stress, increase happiness, lower risk of illness and more.
Self-care doesn't look the same for everyone! Choose your self-care for you. For your time, your budget, your happiness, your peace. Take a walk. Clean your house. Paint your nails. Dance to Dua Lipa in your living room. Eat sushi. Binge watch Love Is Blind. Let your kids play hooky and take them for ice cream. Take a long hot shower. Have coffee on the porch. Take golf lessons. Read a steamy book. Write a blog. Make a wall of gratitude. Take a trip with friends.
No guilt. No limits. No shame. Self-care is mental health treatment. Self-care is charging your battery. And most importantly, self-care is about taking care of yourself. Be the best version of yourself.
You can't fill from an empty cup!
