Have you guys ever heard or used the phrase "I mommed so hard today?" As in, boom, I woke up, worked out, did 6 loads of laundry, prepped dinner for the whole week, baked 3 pies, crafted with my kids, took them to the park and snuggled on the couch while we read 6 books. I mommed so hard today. I'm going to change the rhetoric for myself to, I mommed so easy today.
A couple of weeks ago I was feeling inspired, motivated, and *wanting to be* creative. I polled my 12 Instagram friends and asked for go to weeknight dinner recipes. As the 17-step recipes rolled into my DM's, I quickly realized I wasn't actually feeling that motivated. And instead, I accepted my fate of spaghetti, tacos, and sloppy joe's every week. (Spaghetti is less than desirable) What I realized in this moment, though, is that sometimes, or all of the time it's A-okay to mom so easy.
The moment I started setting realistic expectations of myself, was the moment I became happier with what I accomplish on a daily basis. I will never (never say never, I guess 🤷♀️) be the person who preps an entire week's worth of lunches or dinners on Sunday. I will also not be the person who is productive once my kids have settled into bed. (Typically, after the 7th trip to the bathroom and about 90 minutes after I've actually said goodnight) I will not live in a constantly clean or organized house because quite frankly, I don't want to spend my free time cleaning it, as I'm sure neither does my husband. I will also not be the person who cooks intricate meals after a long day.
I would like to do all of those things; I just know myself and know it's not really an option for this moment in my life. One time I made a cute Halloween inspired charcuterie board and then baked a pie in the same day, and you better believe I had to post my "mom so hard" accomplishments on Instagram - which was obviously a total front. In reality, I had prepped the peaches like 3 months before and froze them 😂
Social media can be so harsh and sometimes unintentionally make us feel like we're failing. I was the child that won the costume contest EVERY year when I was little, because my mom crushed my costumes with paper mache heads and hand sewn costumes (think Goofy, Betty Boop, yogi bear). This year, one of my children didn't even wear his amazon bought costume, and the other one wore a completely different costume from a previous year. I still won Halloween, though, because my kids got a shit load of candy and went to bed feeling happy, loved, and with mild tummy aches.
Being a parent is far from easy. We all have different strengths and strategies when it comes to parenting. I'll share my own personal opinionated tips on how to make parenting easy:
Communicate your needs and expectations with your partner! As a woman, I will admit that I often just expect my husband to read my mind. Why can't he just realize that I need him to take the kids downstairs so I can have 5 minutes of quiet before I lose my damn mind?! He's got a lot of super powers, but just automatically knowing what I need surely isn't one of them. When my co-parent and I are on the same page, parenting becomes just a little bit easier!
Accept your own parenting limitations. My kids will not eat fruits and veggies with every meal. Hell, sometimes they don't even eat an actual meal and instead have chips for dinner 🤷♀️ Sometimes I limit screen time, sometimes they stare at those things for a couple of hours before I have enough energy to fight them about turning them off. Meet yourself where you're at, don't try to meet others where they're at.
Be proud of how you parent. I'm not a lot of things when it comes to parenting, but I am the parent that puts their kids to bed pretty regularly at 7:30 pm. Sure, I have exceptions, but I NEED THAT TIME. I'm okay if you judge me for that. You should also be proud if you're the parent that volunteers for EVERYTHING. Or if you're the parent that makes healthy well balanced meals everyday. What's important to you doesn't have to be what's important to others. We're all just doing the best we can.
Just hug your kids! Sometimes when my kids are whiny and I'm feeling like I'm about to blow, I'll just hug my kiddos. There's soooo much information out there about gentle parenting, and positive parenting and Montessori parenting and everything else in between. It's too much to think about in those moments. But don't we all just need a hug sometimes?
Create a weekly tradition. Ours is Tuesday night dinner at grandma and ojiichan's house. Yep, I'm spoiled. Once a week I don't have to cook, clean, or entertain my kids. It works for our family. Find something that works for yours! It's amazing how excited our kids get for Tuesday nights. Aside from loving their grandparents, I think a lot of it is based on a constant scheduled event in their little lives. They know that every Tuesday there is something to look forward to. Maybe every Friday is pizza night. Or every Wednesday is popcorn and m&m night. Every Monday is family game night. Every Thursday is "happy hour". It's a pre-planned activity that makes one evening a night a little less effortful!
Not that any of you asked, but there ya have it. My surefire super opinionated biased tips on how to make momming a little easier!
You can't fill from an empty cup!
