It's finally May! May brings a lot of things. May flowers, Cinco de Mayo, Mother's day, the Kentucky Derby, WARMER WEATHER (?!). More importantly, though, May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Last year, I wrote Mental Health Awareness Month! to bring light to the stigma surrounding mental health. This year, let's talk about how you can support someone struggling with mental health issues.
One in five adults struggle with mental illness every year. (As of 2020. Perhaps the numbers are growing amid COVID?!) According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, a mental illness is a condition that affects a person's thinking, feeling, behavior or mood. With numbers like that, chances are at some point in your life you've come across somebody struggling with mental illness. Too often, when we're faced with something unfamiliar to us, we become uncomfortable. I'll bet more than one in five of you typically start a conversation with "How are you?". I'd also bet that at least one in five of you would become apprehensive if the answer to that question was anything different from: good, okay, fine, livin' the dream.
You've opened the door, now be prepared! You don't always have to relate to something or someone in every capacity to be able to support them. If they've responded truthfully to your basic conversation opener, then they need you. As an empath, and a healthcare worker, it is so important to me to say and do the right things. (I'm still not perfect 🤷♀️) Here are some ways that you can support those in need.
Validate! Validating means that we are acknowledging feelings, emotions, experiences. You don't have to understand or agree to validate. Use simple statements such as, "I see how you can feel that way", "that makes sense", "I understand how you are frustrated". (An example: Dear husband, that makes sense that you stand over the sink to eat your breakfast so you don't have to clean up crumbs, but it makes me feel very annoyed)
Don't be a fixer! People with mental health struggles are not broken. We all process our emotions and feelings differently. What might be right for you, isn't necessarily right for someone else. Nobody likes a one-upper.
Ask clarifying questions. Honestly, if you're not sure what someone needs from you, ask! "How can I support you?" "What do you need from me?"
Educate yourself. Don't assume you know everything. (Use reputable sources!)
Check in with them. We've all heard it many times now in the midst of this pandemic: check in with your friends. If you know someone is struggling, let them know you're available to them.
Normalize mental health discussions!
The unfortunate reality is that 56% of adults with mental illness go untreated. I'd like to blame the stigma that mental illness carries for this. So many people are still reluctant to seek help for fear of judgement, lack of understanding, and lack of resources. An open ended conversation about mental health might make you uncomfortable, but your 5 minutes of discomfort might just be enough to help someone in the right direction. Don't be afraid to ask the hard questions. Don't let your friends (or you!) become a statistic in the mental health crisis.
You can't fill from an empty cup!
Resources:
My brother, Landon. Lost to a mental illness at the age of 18.
